“What Women Do To Men”
Saturday, October 28th, 2006Times ago, I have read
“Passion and Purity” by Elisabeth Elliot (the wife of Jim Elliot, the
missionary who was killed in his missionary service)
“Passion and Purity” by Elisabeth Elliot (the wife of Jim Elliot, the
missionary who was killed in his missionary service)
“Passion and Purity” is a book about learning to bring our love life under Christ’s control.
There is one chapter, which I would like to share, especially to all Christian women.
This chapter talks about our rule as a woman when we fall in love.
Like Elisabeth Elliot, I also have a strong conviction as a woman, it is not our nature to be initiator, it is not
our part but man’s because of his nature as a leader of family.
our part but man’s because of his nature as a leader of family.
Have a blessed reading.
-Susana-
“What Women Do To Men”
Women
are always tempted to be initiators. We like to get things done. We
want to talk about situations and feelings, get it all out in the open,
deal with it.
are always tempted to be initiators. We like to get things done. We
want to talk about situations and feelings, get it all out in the open,
deal with it.
It
appears to us that men often ignore and evade issues, sweep things
under the rug, forget about them, get on with projects, business,
pleasures, sports, eat a big steak, turn on the television, roll over,
and go to sleep.
appears to us that men often ignore and evade issues, sweep things
under the rug, forget about them, get on with projects, business,
pleasures, sports, eat a big steak, turn on the television, roll over,
and go to sleep.
<!–
D(["mb","Women respond to this tendency by insisting on confrontation,communication,showdown.
D(["mb","Women respond to this tendency by insisting on confrontation,communication,showdown.
If we can’t dragoon our men into that, we nag, we plead, we get\n attention by tears, silence, or withholding warmth and intimacy. We have a large bag of tricks.
C.S Lewis’s vision of purgatory was a place where milk was always boiling over, crockery smashing and toasts burning. The lesson assigned to the men was to do nothing. That would be purgatory for most of us. Women, especially when it comes to the love life, can hardly stand to do nothing.
A young woman came to me after a meeting to tell me she was going to be a missionary.
“Good!” I said
“And I’m going to get married”
“Wonderful. When?”
“Well, I don’t know when exactly. You see, I’m not engaged or anything”
“But you’re getting married?”
“The Lord has told me I am”
“Has He told you who the man is? “
“Oh yes, He goes to this church, we’re good\n friends and ….”
“Whatever you do, don’t tell him what the Lord has told you”
“But I already have. I called him right away.
“ He wasn’t sure about it, I mean you know, like he hadn’t really felt called to the mission field or anything, you know, he was like surprised, but…”",1]
);
);
//–>Women respond to this tendency by insisting on confrontation,communication,showdown.
If we can’t dragoon our men into that, we nag, we plead, we get
attention by tears, silence, or withholding warmth and intimacy. We have a large bag of tricks.
attention by tears, silence, or withholding warmth and intimacy. We have a large bag of tricks.
C.S
Lewis’s vision of purgatory was a place where milk was always boiling
over, crockery smashing and toasts burning. The lesson assigned to the
men was to do nothing. That would be purgatory for most of us. Women,
especially when it comes to the love life, can hardly stand to do
nothing.
Lewis’s vision of purgatory was a place where milk was always boiling
over, crockery smashing and toasts burning. The lesson assigned to the
men was to do nothing. That would be purgatory for most of us. Women,
especially when it comes to the love life, can hardly stand to do
nothing.
A young woman came to me after a meeting to tell me she was going to be a missionary.
“Good!” I said
“And I’m going to get married”
“Wonderful. When?”
“Well, I don’t know when exactly. You see, I’m not engaged or anything”
“But you’re getting married?”
“The Lord has told me I am”
“Has He told you who the man is? “
“Oh yes, He goes to this church, we’re good
friends and ….”
friends and ….”
“Whatever you do, don’t tell him what the Lord has told you”
“But I already have. I called him right away.
“
He wasn’t sure about it, I mean you know, like he hadn’t really felt
called to the mission field or anything, you know, he was like
surprised, but…”<!–
D(["mb","
He wasn’t sure about it, I mean you know, like he hadn’t really felt
called to the mission field or anything, you know, he was like
surprised, but…”<!–
D(["mb","
“You’d better leave him alone until the Lord tells him something”
“I can’t do that, I mean what if he doesn’t understand that this is the Lord’s will?
“I try to call him every few days to remind him. He seems sorta cool, you know, but he is thinking about it. I am sure. Like, you know, he’s reall y my friend and all, but…”
That man had my sympathies
Another woman wrote:
I’ve had nearly six months to digest your speech on submission, and now I am seeking your advice. The matter concerns a young man I become very attached to.
I committed the matter to the Lord in prayer. I eventually dealt with the situation by writing to him and tactfully making my feelings known. He did not reciprocate my affection, but assured me that he wanted to continue our friendship.
I have written him three other letters in three months. None of these have been answered.
I called him, mostly to make sure I could still talk to him.
Two months later, I call again, mainly to assure myself that he was still alive.
He was still cool.
In none of my letter or calls have I attempted to push myself on him.
I wanted to return to our status as friends as he suggested we do.
",1]
);
);
//–>
“You’d better leave him alone until the Lord tells him something”
“I can’t do that, I mean what if he doesn’t understand that this is the Lord’s will?
“I
try to call him every few days to remind him. He seems sorta cool, you
know, but he is thinking about it. I am sure. Like, you know, he’s
reall y my friend and all, but…”
try to call him every few days to remind him. He seems sorta cool, you
know, but he is thinking about it. I am sure. Like, you know, he’s
reall y my friend and all, but…”
That man had my sympathies
Another woman wrote:
I’ve
had nearly six months to digest your speech on submission, and now I am
seeking your advice. The matter concerns a young man I become very
attached to.
had nearly six months to digest your speech on submission, and now I am
seeking your advice. The matter concerns a young man I become very
attached to.
I
committed the matter to the Lord in prayer. I eventually dealt with the
situation by writing to him and tactfully making my feelings known. He
did not reciprocate my affection, but assured me that he wanted to
continue our friendship.
committed the matter to the Lord in prayer. I eventually dealt with the
situation by writing to him and tactfully making my feelings known. He
did not reciprocate my affection, but assured me that he wanted to
continue our friendship.
I have written him three other letters in three months. None of these have been answered.
I called him, mostly to make sure I could still talk to him.
Two months later, I call again, mainly to assure myself that he was still alive.
He was still cool.
In none of my letter or calls have I attempted to push myself on him.
I wanted to return to our status as friends as he suggested we do.
<!–
D(["mb","I no longer understand him.
D(["mb","I no longer understand him.
Poor girl. She had no business in the first place “tactfully” making her feeling known. Poor choice of words. A woman taking that kind of initiative is not tactful.
Very likely she scuttled any\n chances she might have had with the man.
When he did not reply, she had a clear signal that he was not interested.
To continue to try to arouse his interest by writing and calling was worse than useless.
I can imagine his thoughts when he picked up the phone and heard her voice.
Oh no, not her again. What the heck do I do now?
She’s sweet, cheerful, friendly, maybe a little breathless.
How\n can I get her off my back? The only course open to him was to be, as she said, rather cool.
Any other response she would have taken as encouragement.
She called again. This time, perhaps, not quite so cheerful.
Maybe she breathed heavily, spoke plaintively. I’m only guessing
She did not attempt to push herself, she said.
Hadn’t she?
She was unfair to him and dishonest with herself.Only\n wanted to assure herself he was alive. There are other ways of ascertaining that.
In truth she was crying, “I’m here. Please love me”",1]
);
);
//–>I no longer understand him.
Poor girl. She had no business in the first place “tactfully” making her feeling known. Poor choice of words. A woman taking that kind of initiative is not tactful.
Very likely she scuttled any
chances she might have had with the man.
chances she might have had with the man.
When he did not reply, she had a clear signal that he was not interested.
To continue to try to arouse his interest by writing and calling was worse than useless.
I can imagine his thoughts when he picked up the phone and heard her voice.
Oh no, not her again. What the heck do I do now?
She’s sweet, cheerful, friendly, maybe a little breathless.
How
can I get her off my back? The only course open to him was to be, as she said, rather cool.
can I get her off my back? The only course open to him was to be, as she said, rather cool.
Any other response she would have taken as encouragement.
She called again. This time, perhaps, not quite so cheerful.
Maybe she breathed heavily, spoke plaintively. I’m only guessing
She did not attempt to push herself, she said.
Hadn’t she?
She was unfair to him and dishonest with herself.Only
wanted to assure herself he was alive. There are other ways of ascertaining that.
wanted to assure herself he was alive. There are other ways of ascertaining that.
In truth she was crying, “I’m here. Please love me”<!–
D(["mb","
D(["mb","
She said she did not understand him. I did. He didn’t love her.
I tried to explain this. If he had loved her, he would have pursued her.
He did not want to hurt her, but she would not let go.
A letter published in a Christian magazine’s\n advice column say,
“I have been a widow for more than twenty years and thought I was over my sorrow and my romantic notions.
Recently I met a man my age who had lost his wife.
When I expressed sympathy, he seemed very appreciative and began to pay quite a bit of attention to me. The long and the sort of it is that I fell in love with him.
So far so good. Women do that.
The letter goes on. Then the conference ended, and I went home.
There was a phone call or two from him, then nothing.
Next thing I knew he was dating another person.” Man do that, too
The amazing part to me was the columnist’s reply : If this man is as fickle as he seems to be, you can be glad that the relationship is over now, rather than later.
It would be a far grater heartache to live the rest of your life with someone you could not trust.Fickle? Someone you could not trust. What was the columnist talking about?
It was the lady who first expressed symphaty. The man was glad to get that.",1]
);
);
//–>
She said she did not understand him. I did. He didn’t love her.
I tried to explain this. If he had loved her, he would have pursued her.
He did not want to hurt her, but she would not let go.
A letter published in a Christian magazine’s
advice column say,
advice column say,
“I have been a widow for more than twenty years and thought I was over my sorrow and my romantic notions.
Recently I met a man my age who had lost his wife.
When
I expressed sympathy, he seemed very appreciative and began to pay
quite a bit of attention to me. The long and the sort of it is that I
fell in love with him.
I expressed sympathy, he seemed very appreciative and began to pay
quite a bit of attention to me. The long and the sort of it is that I
fell in love with him.
So far so good. Women do that.
The letter goes on. Then the conference ended, and I went home.
There was a phone call or two from him, then nothing.
Next thing I knew he was dating another person.” Man do that, too
The
amazing part to me was the columnist’s reply : If this man is as fickle
as he seems to be, you can be glad that the relationship is over now,
rather than later.
amazing part to me was the columnist’s reply : If this man is as fickle
as he seems to be, you can be glad that the relationship is over now,
rather than later.
It
would be a far grater heartache to live the rest of your life with
someone you could not trust.Fickle? Someone you could not trust. What
was the columnist talking about?
would be a far grater heartache to live the rest of your life with
someone you could not trust.Fickle? Someone you could not trust. What
was the columnist talking about?
It was the lady who first expressed symphaty. The man was glad to get that.<!–
D(["mb","
D(["mb","
\n
He paid attention to her, but it was only a conference.
How many days were there in which to build a relationship?
The lady doesn’t say he had told her he was in love with her
He made a phone call or two. That was nice of him.
What else was he supposed to do?
Her expectations were entirely unreasonable. I would like to ask her what she would have said if somebody at the conference had remarked, “Well!\n You seem to have a thing going with that widower!
I suspect she would have retorted, “How ridiculous! His wife just died! Can’t two people even sit together without everybody is assuming they are in love?
Yet here she is now expecting much more of the poor man, resenting his dating somebody else. She has been treated shabbily, the columnist tells her.
I protest. Women expect to much of men.
I can hear the howls of protest from the women.
“Men want to play around, they lead us on, try to get what they can out of us, deceive us and so on.True enough.
Which is exactly why I beg women to wait. Wait on God. Keep your mouth shut. Don’t expect anything until the declaration is clear and forthright.
And to the men I say be careful with us, please. Be circumspect.
",1]
);
);
//–>
He paid attention to her, but it was only a conference.
How many days were there in which to build a relationship?
The lady doesn’t say he had told her he was in love with her
He made a phone call or two. That was nice of him.
What else was he supposed to do?
Her
expectations were entirely unreasonable. I would like to ask her what
she would have said if somebody at the conference had remarked, “Well!
You seem to have a thing going with that widower!
expectations were entirely unreasonable. I would like to ask her what
she would have said if somebody at the conference had remarked, “Well!
You seem to have a thing going with that widower!
I
suspect she would have retorted, “How ridiculous! His wife just died!
Can’t two people even sit together without everybody is assuming they
are in love?
suspect she would have retorted, “How ridiculous! His wife just died!
Can’t two people even sit together without everybody is assuming they
are in love?
Yet
here she is now expecting much more of the poor man, resenting his
dating somebody else. She has been treated shabbily, the columnist
tells her.
here she is now expecting much more of the poor man, resenting his
dating somebody else. She has been treated shabbily, the columnist
tells her.
I protest. Women expect to much of men.
I can hear the howls of protest from the women.
“Men want to play around, they lead us on, try to get what they can out of us, deceive us and so on.True enough.
Which
is exactly why I beg women to wait. Wait on God. Keep your mouth shut.
Don’t expect anything until the declaration is clear and forthright.
is exactly why I beg women to wait. Wait on God. Keep your mouth shut.
Don’t expect anything until the declaration is clear and forthright.
And to the men I say be careful with us, please. Be circumspect.
<!–
D(["mb","A good looking nephew of mine is often asked out by women.
D(["mb","A good looking nephew of mine is often asked out by women.
“Sorry, “he tells them. “That is not the way I do it.
When I go out with a lady, I like to do the asking. But thanks anyway.”
Resist the temptation to trifle with other people feelings.
It may be fun to “play the fish,” like a trout on a fly line, but it is cruel, it is dishonest, and it is dangerous.
\n\t\t
Get your email and more, right on the new Yahoo.com \n
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\n \n \n Messages in this topic (1)\n \n \n \n Reply (via web post)\n | \n \n Start a new topic ",1]
);
);
//–>A good looking nephew of mine is often asked out by women.
“Sorry, “he tells them. “That is not the way I do it.
When I go out with a lady, I like to do the asking. But thanks anyway.”
Resist the temptation to trifle with other people feelings.
It may be fun to “play the fish,” like a trout on a fly line, but it is cruel, it is dishonest, and it is dangerous.
Dalam
Orang
Ini
Seorang
Mengapa kita harus melepaskan pikiran negatif kita? Karena Tuhan kita adalah Tuhan yang memiliki pikiran positif.
”Karena
Orang yang ragu terhadap dirinya sendiri sama dengan orang yang bimbang dan mendua hati. Alkitab menyatakan dalam Yakobus 1:5-8,
Seiring
Tuhan
Setiap
Pengertian
Cinta
Seseorang
Ketertarikan
Kegilaan
