My Journey of Life

Does Getting Married Seem Hopeless?
Kathleen Hardaway
Author & Contributing Writer

When
was the last time you had a date, much less a relationship? Has life
been somewhat of a disappointment because you never dreamed you would
still be single?

Single is a word you’ve grown to dislike because it describes a life
you wish was someone else’s. A life that seems normal would be one with
a husband or a wife, children, a house and maybe a dog and a cat.

Today I have a cat, but
still no husband. I’m in my forties but my life is far from hopeless.
Have I gone to all the wrong places, broken all The Rules (as the book
suggests) and simply missed it? I’m sure some would say, “She’s too
picky, She’s not getting out enough, She can’t expect him to appear on
her doorstep.”

Whatever the reasons, is it
my fault? I’m choosing to believe that God is still in control of my
life. Certainly, single or married we are to be the very best in every
area of our lives. Keep striving to look your very best, be your very
best, and live your very best. Don’t settle for less. Don’t settle at
all. Try not to worry about your age. I must admit, this can be
challenging at times. Don’t let your age cause you to do something you
regret.

You’ve probably heard horror
stories about people who have said, “I just couldn’t wait any longer.
But now I know I’ve made a horrible mistake rushing into marriage.”

Who likes to wait? I’ve
never heard anyone say, “I love to wait.” Have you?  Waiting at times
can drive me crazy. I don’t like to wait in lines, wait in traffic,
wait for my food to cook, or wait to purchase things. But waiting is a
necessary part of life. We’re an instant society and we’ve grown to
expect things when we want them.

But God says to wait on
Him.  “Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the
LORD” Psalm 27:14.  Frankly, a strong majority of folks don’t want to
wait on God much for anything. God says we’re to wait to have sex prior
to marriage (1 Thessalonians 4:3-7). How many are doing this? Not many.
God says we’re not to marry an unbeliever (2 Corinthians 6:14).  How
many are waiting for a godly mate? Not many. God says, Wait on Him and
His timing. So why don’t most people wait … because waiting is hard?

If you’re not careful you
can either choose the wrong mate or live life in utter frustration and
despair. In all your waiting don’t give up on God. I’ve gotten a number
of e-mails from people who have become bitter, angry, and very mad at
God. I understand completely, but you must begin to change your
thinking.

If you’re single and feeling
God has forgotten you, what are your options? It’s profoundly simple.
You have only one choice:  trust God or don’t. I’m not suggesting that
anything about this is easy. It’s not. I’ve been there. You feel
terrible. You’re not happy where you are and you would like a change.
You cannot base your life on what you feel. You feel lousy. You’re not
happy and you would like to be married, plain and simple.

Will you continue to feel
lousy or will you put your trust in God? Hang on to the truths from
God’s Word, not the lies from the evil one. Lies that tell you you’ll
always be single. Lies that whisper in your ear and in your heart that
you cannot be happy without a mate. Lies that haunt you and tell you
that your life is hopeless because you’re single. What kind of life is
that anyway? Lies. Lies. Lies. …

The true and living God
gives us reason for getting out of bed. His refining process can be
very painful. He uses trials so that we will put our trust and our hope
in Him alone, not in someone else. I urge you to choose to be better
not bitter.

Hang on to these words …

Trust …

“God causes all things to
work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called
according to His purpose” (Romans 8:28).

Divorced, never married,
widowed, whatever the reason for your singleness, you can  trust God
that He can use you where you are today for good.

Hope…

“I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, and in his Word I put my hope
(Psalm 130:5).

He is your only hope. Cling
to His Word. Don’t give up. Don’t lose heart. Don’t waste any more time
feeling sorry for yourself. Live for today; live in the moment. I love
what Jim Elliott said, “Wherever you are be all there.” Too often many
singles miss life, simply waiting for the day they’ll get married.
You’re missing too much life if you’re doing this. You’ve been given a
purpose. You’ve been given gifts. You’ve been given life. Live it. Live
it believing God for the impossible, for His best.

Believe…

“Jesus looked at them and said, ‘With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible’” (Matthew 19:26).

Will you ever get married?
Is it hopeless? Absolutely not. Nothing is impossible with God. No
matter your age, your situation, your fears, trust Him. Put your hope
in Him. And believe Him moment by moment, day by day. Joy will be back
in your life as you continue to walk with Him, believing He knows
what’s best for your life today.

How to be a Wise Guy … and Gal
Les Parrott
eHarmony.com

Falling
in love is a dizzying experience. Once the spark of attraction catches
flame, love quickly turns into a raging fire of unreasoned passion.
Engulfed by its heat, couples sometimes sacrifice all sound judgment in
the interest of bonding their relationship. The Song of Songs says,
"Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot wash it away"
(8:7). Love, by its very nature, is extravagant.

We read recently about a man who hired a helicopter to drop 2,500
carnations and 10,000 love letters on the lawn of a woman he
loved. Apparently the woman failed to share this man’s affection and
had him charged with littering. She told reporters "he had lost his
mind."

Love really can cause some people to lose their heads. They become
"crazy in love." They become compelled by the emotional force of love
and forsake their analytical ability.  It’s a common danger. The
compelling emotional force overrides our capacity to think clearly if
we let it.  That is why Scripture urges us to "be careful, then, how
you live-not as unwise, but wise" (Eph. 5:15).

Have you thought much about wisdom — the ability to reason with
insight? You should. It is essential to the success of your
relationships. Sure, the emotional side of love is vital, and you will
need to stoke the fires of passion over the years, but don’t neglect
the cool calm of wisdom.

Wisdom is not about saying wise words or doing wise deeds. It is
concerned with being, not doing. So how do you cultivate wisdom in
marriage? Or, as Job asked, "Where can wisdom be found? Where does
understanding dwell?" (28:12). The writer of Proverbs compared
searching for wisdom to mining and said, "If you look for it as for
silver and search for it as for hidden treasure, then you will
understand" (2:4-5).

After a decade of marriage my spouse and I are still on an
expedition for more wisdom. Daily we seek to avoid being unwise and we
have discovered two tools that are essential in our pursuit.

First of all, we have learned that wisdom only comes when humble. As
Socrates said, "The wisest man is he who knows his own
ignorance." Without humility marriage partners fall victim to pride,
and "when pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes
wisdom" (Prov. 11:2). Be humble enough to ask for help.  Learn how to
ask a good question. According to Francis Bacon, "A prudent question is
one-half of wisdom."

The second tool for mining wisdom in relationships stems from the
first-ask God to share his wisdom with you (see James 1:5). Human
wisdom on its own is inadequate (see 1 Cor. 1:19; 1:21; 3:18-19). We
need the wisdom that comes from God, for "the fear of the Lord is the
beginning of wisdom" (Ps. 111:10; see also Prov. 9:10; Matt 12:42,
13:54; Acts 6:3).

So enjoy the dizzying emotions of love when they come, but never
neglect the importance of wisdom in marriage. It is a shared pursuit
for soul mates and it will bless your union.

  Jumat 8 Desember 2006
  Kolom Agama Diharapkan Hilang dari Format KTP Baru
                           
                         
               
               
                  JAWABAN.com
                              - Setelah
Undang-Undang (UU) Administrasi Kependudukan (Adminduk) diberlakukan,
sistem pencatatan diharapkan bakal semakin baik, dengan sistem akses
data kependudukan yang akurat. Hingga pada pelaksanaannya format Kartu
Tanda Penduduk (KTP) tidak perlu lagi mencantumkan agama.

Demikian
dikatakan Sekretaris Fraksi Partai Amanat Nasional (FPAN) DPR, Mohammad
Yasin Kara, Rabu (6/12), saat menyampaikan pandangan resmi FPAN
terhadap Rancangan Undang-Undang (RUU) Adminduk pada wartawan, di DPR,
didampingi Wakil Sekretaris FPAN DPR Tuti Indarsih Loekman Soetrisno.

RUU
Adminduk yang akan disahkan pada Sidang Paripurna DPR, Jumat (8/12),
dinilai telah mengalami beberapa kemajuan, antara lain terkait dengan
adanya jaminan bagi para penghayat kepercayaan untuk dicatatkan.

"Aparat
di lapangan, meski sudah ada UU tetap melakukan praktek diskriminasi.
Ada suatu ras tertentu, agama tertentu, dipaksa pindah agama," ucap
Tuti. Hal itu terkait munculnya keluhan dari para penghayat
kepercayaan, bahwa mereka kerap dipaksa menuliskan agama tertentu saat
pembuatan KTP.

Hal itu telah diakomodasi dengan disepakatinya
penambahan pada kolom agama, menjadi agama/kepercayaan, sehingga pada
database kependudukan penghayat kepercayaan akan tercatat. "Kita harus
mengakui adanya realitas sosial, bahwa di negara kita ada penganut
kepercayaan yang mesti dicatat dengan baik," kata Yasin.

Namun
adanya perbaikan itu juga masih menyisakan ganjalan, karena pencatatan
penghayat kepercayaan hanya akan tercatat pada database kependudukan,
namun belum akan diberlakukan pada KTP. Sehingga untuk penghayat
kepercayaan, kolom agama di KTP tetap akan dikosongkan.

Diakui
Yasin, hal itu bisa menimbulkan permasalahan, antara lain bila
dikaitkan dengan kemungkinan tudingan komunis. "Kita berharap format
KTP semakin simple, karena akan sangat padat dengan teknologi
sistem informasi. Kita (FPAN) akan minta dalam pelaksanaannya tidak
seperti dulu lagi (pencantuman agama pada KTP)," katanya. "Kita harus
mengikuti perkembangan modernisasi, bukan saatnya lagi itu menjadi
perdebatan yang tidak penting sifatnya. Kalau dulu data kependudukan
belum tentu benar, nantinya sistem akses data kependudukan akan lebih
akurat," ujarnya.

Nantinya, kata Yasin, KTP hanya menjadi
identifikasi untuk pengecekan lebih lanjut. Data yang lengkap sudah
terdapat pada database kependudukan. Oleh karena itu, pencantuman agama
pada KTP tidak lagi dibutuhkan.

Perbaiki
Diberlakukannya
UU Adminduk diharap bakal memperbaiki data kependudukan, yang sangat
diperlukan dalam rangka pengambilan keputusan berbagai kebijakan. Saat
ini belum ada catatan kependudukan yang jelas, untuk jadi dasar
pembuatan kebijakan, ucapnya.

"Contoh
kasus kompensasi BBM untuk masyarakat miskin, subsidi langsung tunai.
Karena data tidak lengkap, hampir semua daerah terjadi kasus hingga
jatuhnya korban jiwa. Hal seperti itu seharusnya tidak terjadi, apabila
ada data yang akurat sehingga pembuatan kebijakan akan lebih efektif,"
katanya.

Diingatkan, terutama pada Menteri Dalam Negeri
(Mendagri), agar tidak menyalahgunakan data kependudukan, misal untuk
kepentingan partai politik (parpol) tertentu. Parpol membutuhkan data
kependudukan untuk meningkatkan penjaringan aspirasi. Penguasaan data
kependudukan, jangan menjadi peluang untuk membatasi akses hanya bagi
pihak tertentu, dan menutup akses bagi yang lainnya.

"Harus dicatat sebagai aib besar bila dia melakukan diskriminasi dalam pelayanan publik," katanya.

UU
Adminduk melindungi privasi, kecuali statistik. Akses dibatasi hanya
bagi kepolisian, penyelenggara kependudukan, dan pajak. Kecuali subjek
hukum itu memberi izin pada siapa pun untuk mengakses, katanya. [B-14]
(rad)

Sumber: suarapembaruan.com